The Formula for Life
The Formula for Life: Aligning with Joy and Letting Go of Expectations
Okay, so let’s get a little weird. I’m a bit quirky, and I’m drawn to all sorts of fascinating things—science, math, literature, art, quantum physics, mystics…you name it, I’m into it. My not-so-new obsession? Bashar. He’s an “alien” channeled through people. Now, I know, that might sound a bit out there, but hear me out. Whether or not you’re on board with the alien-channelling concept, I think there’s a nugget of wisdom here.
Bashar has a “formula” for life that’s been sticking with me lately, and it’s surprisingly practical. The formula? Align with your highest joy and excitement, pursue it to the best of your ability in the moment, and let go of attachment to expectations. Easy, right? Okay, not exactly. But here’s how I’m breaking it down into actionable steps and even relating it to evidence-based clinical practices. I’m trying to live this formula in my own life, and I think there’s something worth exploring here.
Step 1: Find What Brings You the Most Excitement or Joy—Right Now
It might seem obvious, but figuring out what brings us genuine joy or excitement in the middle of daily routines isn’t always easy. For me, it’s been about finding “a little bit more excitement” wherever I can—sometimes, that’s simply what I’m not dreading. This isn’t about massive, life-altering choices; it’s about tuning in to small moments of “yes” in the day-to-day.
In clinical terms, this aligns with concepts from Positive Psychology. Research shows that prioritizing activities that bring us joy or fulfillment can enhance overall well-being, improve resilience, and reduce stress. Finding small, positive choices throughout the day helps us connect with meaning and purpose, even if it’s just the smallest nudge in a positive direction. And here’s a tip: if you’re not sure what brings you joy, start by noticing what doesn’t drain you. Start small, but start.
Actionable Tip: Take five minutes at the start or end of each day to write down one or two activities that brought you a hint of joy or that felt “right” in some way. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns of what brings you genuine excitement and meaning.
Step 2: Pursue It to the Best of Your Ability in the Moment
This step is about taking action on what brings you joy, even if it’s not perfect or life-changing. I like to think of this as “mini-goal setting”—pursuing joy in small, manageable ways without the pressure of “getting it right.” It’s similar to what we practice in therapy with behavioral activation, a CBT technique that involves engaging in activities that provide a sense of accomplishment or enjoyment. The goal is to get moving in positive ways, even when motivation is low or obstacles are present.
When you pursue what feels good in the moment, to the best of your ability, you’re giving yourself permission to engage with life, even if only in small steps. It’s the consistency of showing up that matters more than the perfection of each step.
Actionable Tip: Each morning, identify one small action that aligns with your joy or interest for that day. For example, if you love nature, commit to spending 10 minutes outside. Small actions, consistently chosen, can add up to significant change over time.
Step 3: Release Expectations
Letting go of expectations—especially when we’re excited about something or are afraid of an outcome—might be the hardest part of the formula. I’m finding that, for me, expectations often show up as hidden fears, doubts, or pressures. Recently, I’ve been working through a challenging situation with my partner. We set clear boundaries, established action items, and then…we let go. We agreed to let things unfold without the need to control every outcome.
This isn’t easy, but it’s powerful. Letting go of expectations invites us into a state of open-mindedness. And what I’ve found, somewhat surprisingly, is that excitement and curiosity for the unknown starts to fill the space that expectations once held. It’s liberating to realize that we don’t have to control everything. This aligns with the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) practice of “defusion”—separating ourselves from the need to control or over-identify with thoughts, making space for new possibilities.
Actionable Tip: When you notice yourself clinging to an expectation, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” or “What am I hoping to control here?” This awareness helps you understand where you’re attached. Practice releasing that attachment by reminding yourself that you can only control your actions, not the outcome.
Putting the Formula Together
Like all good ideas, this formula is best approached in parts. I’m learning that it’s a practice—a collection of small steps rather than an immediate transformation. Some days, it’s easier to tune into joy; other days, letting go of expectations is the big challenge. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to live it perfectly all the time but to lean into each piece when you can.
So, here’s The Formula in action:
Identify What Brings You Joy (big or small).
Take Action aligned with that joy, to the best of your ability.
Release Attachment to the outcome, allowing space for the unknown to surprise you.
This formula has helped me find more presence, flexibility, and even excitement for what comes next. And maybe, over time, as I practice each part, I’ll find myself living this formula as a whole experience. Until then, I’ll keep taking it one step at a time—and I encourage you to do the same.
Good luck, friends. I hope this formula gives you something to think about or explore. And hey, if it leads you down the rabbit hole of Bashar and alien sightings, all the better. Here’s to living a life that’s a little bit magical, a little bit weird, and a lot more aligned with what truly lights you up.